Fall Down Seven Times Get Up Eight

What would love do here?

What a powerful question!  And what a lovely day for it to arrive in my "in box".

I am a woman in transition. I think actually my life is a serial transition! I am okay with that.  My life has never really looked like anyone else's and at this point in the game I doubt that will change.

This time...my transition # ... (well I lost count long ago) I am working on my seeing muscles.  Seeing the landscape for what it is and for what I want it to be. That is not as easy as it sounds.

If you pay attention to any media you think the world has gone to hell in a hand basket...or at least the basket is standing by. It takes focus to disengage from that and turn your attention to the world you want to be involved with.

I get a daily mailing from Mary Morrissey  www.MaryMorrissey.com that's called the Daily Dream Builder.  I like it a lot.  I like her writing style and her messages.  Today her question was , "What would love do here?"

A perfect question for a woman in transition.  What would love do here? 

I have one part of me that says getting cracking.  Find work.  Get hyper.  Pannnic!  As a woman who has worked paycheck to almost paycheck for the last five years...having where you work close with less than a week's notice gets your attention.

But I am tired from working six days a week on my feet for almost a year.  I have set aside what I want to be doing because the work was like a hamster wheel that had days flying by with me with me saying to myself, "I will get to writing tomorrow."  

Now the wheel has stopped...and I have climbed out.

What would love do here? I believe love would say..."rest and dream and when you have done enough of both..you will see what there is to see."   Ahhhhhhhhhh :) I think I will.

 

In the pit of my stomach ... it says YES!

This is the time.  This is the place.  In the pit of my stomach...it says YES!  I have come back home to me.

Oh my lord what a journey the last five years has been.  Swirling, whirling, crashing and burning and pain and sorrow.

Having the ground knocked out from under me twice with a force that took my breathe away.  Recovery was not guaranteed by any means.  But slowly...one 1/2 step forward...two backwards...three ahead...10,000 backwards I moved. 

Then today...yes TODAY...in my kitchen getting coffee this wonderful morning I realized I am back.  I am back home to me.

I am feeling more solid.  More clear.  More joyful then I have in the past five years.  There is a clarity and a sense of gratitude that I feel I can reach out and touch.

What I know is that my "home" has changed a bit.  It would have had to change or what has happened the past five years would not have had an impact.  And those years have had quite an impact indeed.

I am going to celebrate this day.  This day of homecoming with gratitude and joy.

And with taking time to thank the people who helped me along the way...I did not make it back here alone.  And maybe in the end that's what makes recovery of ones life possible...realizing that it can take a "village" to help stop the world from swirling and whirling.  And having the courage to open the door and let the "village" in.

Today's word is expand.

Expand is to enlarge.

I am not talking about your pant size!  I am talking about your dreams.  Your vision of yourself and your life. :)

When things go wrong in our lives our tend to withdraw.  Pull in.  We need to go the other direction.  We need to expand.

The place I was working just closed.  I could sit home and worry or I could go the other direction...bless the experience I had and all the people I met and look beyond it. 

Expand my vision... :)  Hm-mm.  I think I will.

Pick Me! Pick Me!

Oh my...life is such an adventure! 

I think when all the souls were sitting in that big hall in the sky and God said "Who wants a life full of challenges and life lessons?"  I must have jumped up and down in my seat like a crazy person yelling..."Pick me! Pick me!"  And my "Pick me" cry was heard :)

One just has to smile when you finally figure it out.  We are here to learn lessons and the lessons are never over.

It's how you meet those challenges that is the key.

Oh I have tried panic...but that did not work as well as one would think. 

So this time of challenge I am choosing faith and trust.  Waking up every day with joy in my heart and looking at each day with eyes and arms wide open.  That is my focus. That is my center.

I have been working at a job for almost a year.  I was just staring to find financial footing where I did not have to worry every day.  I have come face to face there with people from every decade of my life.  I have processed through lots of feelings.  I am more solid in my footing than I have been in two years.

Then poof!  The place closed on Sunday.  Apparently what I could learn there was done.  :)

Now it's on to the next classroom. The next adventure.  The next lessons. With joy in my heart and a smile on my face. :)  Knowing wth faith that I am headed exactly where I am suppose to go.

 

Are you a unstoppable ball of bliss?

Well are you?  I was reading an article this morning and that description really captured my attention!

Unstoppable ball of bliss... I like that.

To me it means being happy at your core.  Happy, blissful and no one can take that away from you...or me.  We are what we are.  And if we dig through all the stuff around us and get to our core...that's where I believe our truth lies.  Where we start building the foundation of our lives. 

And if at our core we are blissful.  Happy.  Then that's where we start building from.  It's solid.  It's uplifting.  It's unstoppable.

 

Today's word is now.

Now means current.  Present.  Now. 

It's all we have.  We can plans like crazy monkeys for the future but all we have is now.  The present.  

So what are you doing right now to make yourself happy?

Today's word is appreciate.

Appreciate means to justly value. 

So here is a question for you...what do you appreciate? What in your life this very moment do you justly value?

Take time right now to look at what you have in your life.  Make a list. Post it where you will see it.  Then appreciate it.  It's the foundation of having a happy life.  

And that's in the end what we want isn't it?

Today's word is desperation.

Desperation means hopeless or rash.  Yikes! A word is only a word but it can pack a lot of emotion and desperation does.

If you are a reader...you know I lived with desperation a little over a year ago...I was swirling and whirling like I was on a carnival tilt-a-whirl that did not stop!

Then I landed.  Found my footing. :)  Ahhhh...

Now just as I was seeing some financial stability...poof my job is over.  The place closed.  But ...  and it's a pretty big but the great news is that I am not desperate...no desperation in my heart or my head.

I got through the biggest upheaval in my life and came out stronger with a lot of support from people :) for which I am forever grateful.

I have faith, family, friends and a dog named Pumpkin. What I don't have is desperation...and that is a very good thing indeed.

 

Work ethic and two young men.

Yesterday was the last day the restaurant I have been working at was open.  It is now closed.

Lots of people want to know where the work ethic is these days.  Where do you find good employees?

I will tell you the work ethic is alive and well in the two young men who were the dishwashers at the restaurant. Dish washing in not easy.  Certainly not easy in a kitchen on Fish Fry Friday!  :)

But these young men did their jobs well.  They showed up on time.  Were respectful and I never heard them complain once.  Not once.  Okay they made faces sometimes when I would bring in a tub of dishes saying it was the last one only to walk through the door a minute later with more! But that was to be expected.

They were dependable. Reliable. Completed their work. And came back for their next shifts.  And it was always a bonus when they would smile because they could light up the room! 

So if you hear people complain about the work ethic these days especially in young people...please let them know it's alive and doing very well indeed.

There is a beginning. There is an end. The middle is living.

I read a book about death years ago when I was a case manager for people who were living with HIV/AIDS.  I cannot remember the name of the book but it's premise was that everything had a beginning.  Then an ending.  In the middle was living.

No one knows how long anything lasts ... its the middle where the joy is, where the experience is.

I have been working at a restaurant for just about a year.  Today it opens for the last time.  By nightfall it will close for good. The reasons for the closure are not as important as how blessed I have been to have worked there.

I came to work there as I was trying to find my footing after my word imploded.  I found it there.  I made money to buy food, gas and pay my rent.  Things I do not take for granted.  It has been some of the hardest work of my life.  I have been a bartender and a waitress.

I have spent almost thirty years in non-profits.  I have run 6 different agencies.  Yet my work as a waitress has been some the the hardest work I have ever done.  I have always been a good tipper and appreciated good service.  I have so much more respect and appreciation now for folks who work in that field!  Customer service times ten along with non stop work on your feet.  All with attention to multiple details and demands at the same time with a smile on your face and a song in your heart!  :)

I came to realize during the past year that my life has always been about service and this was just another chapter in that book...

I am stronger and wiser and blessed that I could do the work.

Better still I met amazing people there.  People who have made me laugh, cry and feel blessed.  Employees and customers alike.  A woman who shared most of my days with me...who is pure joy and made me laugh...who will be a life long friend.  

Another woman who says I remind her of a string of christmas tree lights.  Who indeed herself twinkles!  :)  She, too, will be in my life forever.  And yet another who is finding her way through the adventure of life and has shared the ups and downs of the journey with me daily as we have worked together to make this all come together.  Life long friends. I am blessed.

A man who cooks there who has a family of three children and a wonderful wife all who I have come to adore despite the fact he loves polka music. :) Women who worked in the kitchen and behind the bar making wonderful food and drinks, balancing lots of details and demands most days with grace and humor.

Little children who call out my name when they see me and an old crabby man who complained about everything including the cost of a cup of coffee every single time he came in. 

Or did with me until I saw him one day lost in WalMart looking for tooth powder...not tooth paste mind you...tooth powder.  I helped him find a store person who helped him find his tooth powder.  Cost 35 cents less then in his hometown...after that I was golden :) !!! The cost of coffee didn't seem to come up after that. Just a smile asking how I was.

Blessed indeed. 

There was a beginning.  Today there is an end. I have been blessed and am so grateful for that middle. :)